Now I am sad. ;(

I told myself that maybe because there are too many flyers, or maybe I didn't perform well during the audition. But now, I am quite sure that it is that i am not GOOD ENOUGH. That's why I'm really depressed, bacause i gave in my best (after pmr... yeah) i do sit-ups every night (on my bed HAHA), train flexibility as often as i can, strength works and bla bla bla. I dont know why i cant be chosen. Issit that i did not try hard enough, or just that i am not good enough?

Somehow, i feel like quiting. Studies are so stressful now for form 4. I dont know how to choose since my everything clashes with my everything. Before this it is harder to decide, but because i am not in, somehow it feels easier to choose. Just choose the more important one, easy enough right?

Brother kept on saying no you should not give up. But i cant see why i couldn't. I know people may think that i claim that i tried my very best but actually i didn't. You never know if i do my strength works til late night do you? You never know how happy i was last saturday when i went up the stunts so smoothly. Because you weren't there watching. I know i am bad, but frankly speaking, aren't you? My commitment didn't bring me anything at all. I dont think the time wasted is worth this. I AM SAD.

Bahhh, should i do my strength works tonight???? Maybe, maybe not...

She is really sad.